An Email Means so Much....

It was just a simple email that my husband received from a friend - but it had a HUGE impact.  This is why I ride....This is why my husband and family has sacrificed their time with me over the past eight months....This is why ........

Hi Blaine,

I was hoping you might pass this on to Janis for me. I donated tonight, and I wanted to say a few words of thanks for what she is doing.

Back in 2004 I was diagnosed with osteosarcoma at the age of 22. It was a pretty rough time, lost all my hair, got a sweet titanium femur. It's difficult to articulate how insurmountable it seems while you are a patient. However, one thing I do remember is the Tour de Rock. Even though most patients don't directly intact with the people involved in large fund raising events like this, the fact it exists at all are extremely positive on a patient's morale, at least for me. When community leaders, like police officers, add to their already demanding job to raise awareness it gives you a sense you aren't completely alone in your battle --- that a community is there as well. I know everyone rides for their own reasons but the effects are more wide spread than is immediately visible, and that is truly a great thing.

Thanks for Riding, and Rock on!

A Bike sends a Kid to Camp!

     Sunday morning, my sister, Krista (Mike's wife) and I sat quietly drinking tea when she said, "It was the right time, the right place and the right thing to do."  She was referring to the auctioning of Mike's Tour de Rock bike the night before.

     It had been an emotional evening.  During the auction, as I held the bike and walked it around the circle of bidders, a sense of finality came over me and I cracked.  I don't cry often but the emotional impact of auctioning off Mike's bike was just too much.  I passed the bike off to a friend as the bidding kept going.  As I walked out the door to get some fresh air, one of my trainers, an alumni rider, gave me a smile and a look of understanding.  

     His look told me that this is what the next two weeks will be about.  It won't be about the riding...it will be about the emotions.  Tour de Rock is about the stories that people want to share and it's all about listening and hugging.  Am I ready?  I don't think I can answer that yet.

     So with tears flowing down my cheeks, I went back to the auction and wheeled that bike around with a sense of purpose...and pride.  The auction of Mike's bike raised enough money to send a child battling cancer to Camp Goodtimes and that was the goal.  I'm sure Mike is up there somewhere flashing his devil horns and cheering.  

SILENT AUCTION ITEMS! Mike Lawless Tank Top Flip Flop Hop is TOMORROW NIGHT!!

Holey Hearts!

So I feel like I'm in my final month of pregnancy.  You know when you get to that stage where you want your body back and you want to get the show on the road!  Well that is what it feels like right now.  I have been training since March and physically I'm ready....on the other hand emotionally ..... I don't know.  

Tonight I was presented with my official Tour de Rock jersey and it was tough not to let the tears flow (I had put mascara on for my first time in a few months!).  Anne, our teammate and oncologist nurse, spoke beautifully and really hit home when she said that every time a child with cancer in her care loses their battle, a hole is left in her heart.

She's right.  When mom lost her battle with ovarian cancer...a hole was left in my heart.  When Mike lost his battle...another hole was left.  

So people ask why I'm riding. It's an easy answer.

HOLES HURT!!!

Please support me and my holey heart.
DONATE NOW.

Thank you
Janis

 

Mike is Giving Back......Again.

     When I first got onto a bicycle in March...it was awkward and uncomfortable and my butt hurt.  However, after thousands of kilometers of training..my bike is now an extra appendage.  That's what the trainers said would happen.  My bike has become a part of me and I have personalized it to inspire me.  It has Mike Lawless' Tour de Rock bandanna on the handlebars, a photo of Emma, a junior rider who passed away this year, hanging from the seat, and two friendship bracelets.  One from Camp Goodtimes and the other is from my nine year old daughter.  

     So when I speak about auctioning off Mike Lawless' Tour de Rock Bicycle at the Mike Lawless Tank Top Hip Hop Flop..it's bittersweet.  This bike was a part of his epic adventure in 2004.   It was the bike that helped him discover his passion for helping kids with cancer through Tour de Rock.  The bike was his inspiration.  

     After Mike passed away last year from cancer at the age of 43, it was an easy decision about what to do with his bicycle.  It had been hanging in the garage since 2004..a symbol of an amazing journey and now it will once more give back to the reason it exists in the first place.  The money raised will go to the kids.  That's what Mike would want and we're sure he is grinning up there somewhere with out plan.

     So please come to the Mike Lawless Tank Top Flip Flop Hop and watch Mike give back once more through his bike.  Trek is getting all fixed up and ready to make some money for a cause that was dear to Mike's heart, dear to all of our hearts. 

So hope to see you on September 17 at Ashton Armouries.  Check out the poster and contact me for tickets.  It will be a truly epic (and emotional in a good way) evening!  

     It's only two weeks away!  If you want to bid on Mike's bike...we may consider bids by phone!

If you can't make it....please consider donating in Mike's name.
www.tourderock.ca/janiscarmena
 

Riding in the Rain....

Yesterday’s training ride reminded me what the family of someone battling cancer goes through.  See yesterday, the team and I rode around and around UVIC's Ring Road in the rain…. in circles.   There was grit flying up from the wheel of the rider in front of me…..and it was hard to see.  The grit also hurt as it pinged off my face.  Finally, while riding in line and switching front riders,  I was the front rider and the way was clear for a short time until bam….I was switched out and there was a rider in front of me again and again the rain and grit is flying.  With my vision impeded, I had to trust the rider in front to make sure that my path through the rain was clear and that I didn’t hit anything.  Then without warning the rain stopped and the sun came out and I breathed a sigh of relief that the ride is over.

My family's battles with cancer, one with mom and one with Mike,  reminded me of last night’s ride.  At first it was hard to see our way through all the overwhelming amount of information and news and the majority of that information and news hurt….just like the rain and grit.  Then during each battles, there seemed to be a light...good news…and the way cleared just like when I was riding my bike and was at the front of the pack.  Then BAM…the light went away due to bad news and we had to faithfully follow our doctor’s advice on how to help our loved one fight their cancer….just like how I was blindly following the rider in front of me hoping that they kept me safe helping me survive the ride.  For a long time….the battles continued on in circles as we wished for light….sun.  Unfortunately we never got the sun in my family member’s battles………

 

So as I rode around in that circle last night…. Blind most of the time….I reflected on my family's past cancer battles and was reminded why I was riding….in the rain…around the University…in circles......I ride because with the money I help raise..we can bring “sunshine” to the cancer fighter and their caregivers through Camp Goodtimes and through money toward research.   I ride because hopefully, in my lifetime, the “sun” will come out and stay out…..cause it sucks to ride in the rain blindly following the rider in front of you trusting them with everything just as it sucks to faithfully follow the doctor’s advice hoping that they will help your loved one survive.

Please DONATE now!

Thank you

Janis

I'm Eating an Elephant!

     During her battle with Ovarian Cancer, my mom would always say, "Janis, how do you eat an elephant?" She usually said this when the family became overwhelmed and our answer always had a calming effect, "One bite at a time." That's how she fought her battle with cancer. Instead of looking at the whole picture, she took it a day at a time. It is overwhelming if you look at the battle as a whole.

      Now I'm not comparing bike riding 1000 Km to fighting cancer...don't get me wrong however at the moment, it's my battle. I'm looking at the Tour de Rock as my elephant and it's a large elephant. I can't eat the whole thing at once however as mom's words ring through my head...I can eat it one piece at a time! Luckily I began eating it in March so by the beginning of Tour on September 24, I should only have a few more pieces to eat before the elephant is gone! It has been a big elephant and at the end I may reflect that I will miss it however.......I could always eat a rhino next? 

 Please consider donating to my elephant eating!  

DONATE NOW 

 Thank you so much 
Janis